Nicole vs. Life
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
