Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
