I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
i drank out of a bidet.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
