is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Randomize
