We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
