I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
i now understand why vodka
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
