Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
