Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He passed out mid-signature
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
