508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
