You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
