I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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