Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
