i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
