We need to rekindle our bromance
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
