Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
