I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
