Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
