a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
