Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Barsexuality is the new black.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
