You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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