Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
