I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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