Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
