There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
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