Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
