Barsexuality is the new black.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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