omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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