Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
