I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
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