He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
