I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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