Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
