Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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