She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
