I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
