Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I believe in your delicious
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
