Don't you send me to vm
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
