dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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