I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
