Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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