i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
