May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
