I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
17 year olds will be the death of me.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Vodka?
Forever.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
