We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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