Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
When did angry sex become our thing?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
