Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
love makes seman taste better
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
