just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
