guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
