what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
