there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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