Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
