somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
